A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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