he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
