i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
