I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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