2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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