There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Randomize
