The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
