i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize