u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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