that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
