there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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