Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
