You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
