my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
