Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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