I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
