oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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