i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
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