have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
