I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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