I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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