i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
