I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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