we made out on top of his cat.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
