I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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