He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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