definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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