ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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