Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
