Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
