i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize