That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
