you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
