I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
