were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
