Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
