I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
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