guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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