Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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