That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize