I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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