saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My dad just said "fuck circus"
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
