I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have fence marks all over my body
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
