Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
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He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
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I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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