so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
