worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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