Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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