I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
