just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
