Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
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