I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize