it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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