he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
