she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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