so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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