There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
