never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
