They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize