Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
