You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
