sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
