I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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