Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
