Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
