The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
