Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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