Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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