I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
