Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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