Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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