Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Is Oprah even human
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
