I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
