Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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