you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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