let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
