After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
