Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
