She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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